Despicable me

Always stuck myself in this sort of dilemma.

whether I should go or not. Despite the fact that money is always the biggest problem, the thing indeed perplex me as usual is my indecisiveness and laziness. I kept thinking about why I always regret the thing I didn't do because of hesitation and bad judgment.  Though, to be honest, I do know that I didn't work hard enough compared with others.

Maybe I am one of those spoiled children, who go to expensive school without any scholarship but simply for the fame, I used to teased at in Taiwan. Although I knew this is not what I suppose at the very beginning, it seemingly ends up that way to others. I feel a bit sorry for my beloved family.

I do have plans and ambitions but in a very roughly,  unthoughtful way and can easily be transferred at any moment. I hate it but I didn't try to change it. I wish I could have grown up a bit in many different respects. In fact, I am still that kid with lots of daydreaming bubbles around while never make further efforts to realize the dreams. they remain as fantasy at last.

Now, again, its the time to make another life decision.

What I crave for is the best, the strongest resolution.
No more needy, no more co-dependent. Please.

春天的倫敦與強尼戴普

完成兩科重擔考試，重啟下一波統計學考試的準備之前，我去了一趟波折到不行的巴黎之行，到英國Brighton海灘，疑惑我的未來，到美國繼續念下去？回台灣工作？試著在國外工作？同時貪婪地享受歐洲春天的慵懶時光，我幸運地拿到免費的票體驗了Rooftop Cinema 在屋頂與眾人一同對著螢幕大笑，黑夜是最好的背景。不論是旅行還是活動，在這裡平常忙碌總是越來越懶惰不去刻意規劃，一切走spontaneous路線，很奇妙，到了才知道播放的是1990年Johnny Depp主演的電影Cry Baby

很少人看過更少人知道，但我竟然在台灣的電視上看過，大概就是電視兒童某天下午隨意亂轉愛波老電影的好來屋電影台，看到Johnny Depp的名字就停下來了。第二次再看感覺卻如此不一樣，沒有配上中文字幕的電影，台詞竟然變得好笑了，或許跟周圍的觀眾情緒也有關，每個人看到年輕的強尼擠眉弄眼都是一陣狂笑，是一部有點惡搞的黑色幽默青春歌舞劇，但我總覺得比現代的high school musical好笑也有趣多了，強尼以前臉真的好緊繃，又唱又跳，忍不住覺得HollyWood明星真的十項全能耶....我忍不住回去翻以前李奧納多跟Brad pitt年輕的影片片段...噢天啊愛上二十年前的明星是不是有點sick但二十年前的Tom cruise讓我沒什麼感覺，直覺得像英文補習班的老師可能叫David...lol 人生總是有些奇怪的小緣分，這麼多老電影沒看過偏偏這部我竟然還看到兩遍...

Cry Baby 片段： http://youtu.be/3Nzc3Rezt3w

每次關心台灣新聞都是生氣，今天是傷心驚愕，我無法想像有多少破碎的心，不論是哪方的家屬都是，我想到一部電影叫做We need to Talk about Kevin 我大學時期也寫過一些心得，當時總結在膚淺的地方，說飾演校園殺人犯的男主角Ezra Miller根本是未來的強尼戴普，這部電影從加害人母親的角度來進行敘事，沒有被霸陵沒有被家暴，一個少年如何變成殺人犯，甚至射殺疼愛自己的妹妹和爸爸，我們都想知道怎麼了。最後一幕，印象很深，關進監牢的Kevin跟他媽媽，那個跟他時常衝突的母親問他Why，凱文說I used to think I knew 但現在，他說:I'm not so sure.

我只覺得可怕，每一條生命都是彌足珍貴，沒有人有權利去剝奪

就算我再討厭邱毅也不會開坦克去沖他家